


"We Lost Our Baby Boy"

by wishmgc



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mpreg, Stillbirth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:10:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6144080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wishmgc/pseuds/wishmgc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum and Michael lose their un-born son while on tour and the both of them have the worst time coping with the fact.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"We Lost Our Baby Boy"

Calum was going into labor. Michael was freaking out, Calum was freaking out after being told he would have a c-section while awake. Calum was quickly prepped for surgery and Michael was getting into scrubs while his husband was getting prepped.  
After Calum was prepped they left for surgery and Calum squeezed the life out of Michaels hand but Michael didn't seem to mind much. He was to busy focusing on his baby. Both of his babies. 

It took them about an hour after they got into the operating room to get the baby out of Calum. Both Calum and Michael were too focused on each other, to realize that the doctors had already taken the baby out and were starting to sew Calum back up. Its understandable why neither of the boys noticed that the baby was out, it didn't cry.

"Uhm, Mr. Clifford?" Both Michael and Calum looked up at the doctor who looked worried. 

"Is our baby okay?" Michael asked. He was in love with the fact he was going to be a dad. 

"Actually..." You could tell the doctor they were talking to was new and probably still an intern. 

"Is he okay?" Calum asked now scared because the doctor was nervous. 

"No. When we pulled him out, he wasn't breathing. He isn't breathing. He was a stillborn. We've tried for minutes to get him to start breathing again but theres only so much we can do. I'm sorry for your loss." 

"He... What?" Calum asked. 

"No no no. We did everything right though, this can't be happening." Michael instantly had tears in his eyes and was holding tightly onto Calum's hand. Calum was just in tears. He was a mess of tears and emotions. Michael leaned down and placed his lips on Calum's forehead, leaving them there for as long as possible before he covered his face as he sobbed into his arm. Their baby boy was gone. 

~~~~

Its been weeks and still neither of the boys have moved much. They have stayed on the bus for three weeks now. Michael in the back room with the door shut and Calum in his bunk curled up with the blanket his mum made for her grandson. Neither of them are okay and the two other boys understand that. Management wants to push the boys to get out of bed because they have things to do but Luke and Ashton tell them to let them grieve.

Calum's bunk curtain was gently pulled back to see Calum laying under the home made baby blanket even though it didn't cover much of his six foot two inches long body.

"How you feeling?" Luke asked his best friend as he ran a hand down Calum's arm. He didn't get an answer which he was expecting. "Michael is asking." He added, knowing Calum would answer then. 

"I feel like shit Luke. I lost my fucking baby. We did everything right and he was a fucking still born. So no, I'm not fucking okay. I won't be for a while. Tell management to fuck off because I know they are asking about us." 

"I got it. Let me know if I can do anything okay?" 

"Take me to Michael. Carry me. I don't think I'll be able to walk."

Luke, without hesitation, lifted Calum carefully out of his bunk and to the back where the door was still open and Michael was sitting there staring at the ceiling just like he had been all day and Luke walked over, laying Calum down but not letting go until Michael had a tight grip on him. Almost instantly both the boys started sobbing while Luke walked out of the room. Luke shut the door and then management walked onto the bus. 

"No." Luke instantly said. He didn't even give them a chance to speak. "You're not pulling them out of bed when they are like this. No."

"Luke its been three we-" 

"They lost their fucking son three weeks isn't even close to the minimal time they need to recover from something like this!" Luke was yelling now and as cute and innocent as Luke looks when he's happy, when he's protecting two of his best friends he is not someone that you want to upset. "I went to go check on Cal and he asked me to take him to Mike so I did and the second that Calum was in Michaels arms they both started sobbing. They are not okay. You do not get to push them out of bed. They need more time." 

"We don't have any more time, Luke!" 

"Then fucking make some!" Luke pushed them all off the bus and shut and locked the door. 

"Luke?" It was Michael. Luke turned around to look at Michael who had tears falling. He was standing in the doorway of the back room. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Mike." Luke gave him a small smile before going to the fridge. 

"How are you feeling buddy?" Ashton asks from his place on the counter. 

"Shitty, but better I guess."

"You guess? Move your fat ass off the counter." Luke said and Ashton pretended to be hurt as he got off the counter so Luke could make his sand which. 

"Yeah. I mean its still not fucking easy but its getting better. Slowly." 

"Any progress is good progress mate." Luke said. 

"Luke speaks the truth." Ashton said as he sat at the booth they had next to the counter. 

"Hungry?" 

"Not unless its pizza." 

"There is leftover pizza in the fridge from last night." Luke said. 

"Cal are you hungry?" Michael asked. 

"Fuck off. No." 

"To bad you're eating. You haven't eaten in three days." Luke said. Michael made his way to the fridge and heated up cold pizza while Calum locked himself in the bathroom. 

"No. Fuck." Michael went over to the door Calum had previously slammed shut. "Baby, come on." 

"I don't want to eat." You could tell he was sitting down leaning against the door. 

"You have to eat something babe." Michael sat down in front of the bathroom door, leaning his forehead against it. 

"It hurts too much to eat." 

"I know, Cal. It hurts I get that. It hurts me too. Open the door. Please? Let me hold you." 

"You didn't have to fucking carry him around for 9 months in your stomach only to be told he died. I always got so excited when I would feel him kick me, even if it did hurt." Michael heard the door unlock and he slid it open only to have a fist to his chest and yes it hurt because Calum had some muscle but Michael ignored it anyway. Calum threw his fist at Michaels chest over and over and over screaming "we lost our baby boy" until finally he just had a breakdown in Michael's arms. Michael repositioned to leaning against the wall behind him before wrapping his arms around his husband who was in his lap. 

"I know... Shhh baby. We can try again someday." 

"No! I don't want to loose another fucking baby to some un known reason! I can't go through this pain again..." Calum sobbed in between words. Luke and Ashton were standing by, looking at their two heartbroken best friends while their own hearts broke at the sight in front of them. Michaels pizza had stopped long ago and is probably cold again but thats the least of any of their worries right now. Their worries were to get Calum and Michael better. 

Then Michael had a thought. 

"Hey, when you calm down and feel ready, how about we go see some fans? I know how much you love meeting them and making them happy." Michael said calmly, doing everything in his power to calm Calum down. Calum just nodded slightly. 

"But stay by me." Calum said and Michael nodded, kissing Calum's head. 

"Always. No matter what, remember? For better or worse. Im always here. Right by your side." 

And eventually, they did get up and go out to meet some fans that were waiting. That was the first time any of the boys have seen Calum smile in weeks. Michael just stared at him fondly, a small smile on his face too as he kept his promise not leaving Calum's side as he greeted, hugged, took pictures with and signed things for every fan they met. Michael even helped a couple girls over the gates so they could properly hug them. Nearly every single one of them told Calum that they loved him and Calum said it back without hesitation and every time someone said it, Calum's smile grew. 

Then after a while of meeting fans, Calum started getting light headed but he didn't tell anyone because he liked meeting fans. No one knew until his legs almost gave out and Michael started questioning him. 

"Hey, are you okay? You look like you're going to pass out." 

"I'm fine." Calum said, taking a picture with a fan before moving onto the next girl. Michael decided not to fight with him and continued meeting fans as well. 

Until Calum collapsed. 

Michael dropped the conversation he was having with a fan when he heard a thud.

"Shit!" Michael yelled causing the two boys on the other side to turn and rush over when seeing Calum on the floor. 

"I told him he should have eaten damnit Cal." Luke said, picking him up for the second time that day and going over to the bus. Michael ran ahead and opened the door while Ashton went to another bus to get Zop. Luke set Calum on the couch and Michael sat on the floor by Calum's head, running his fingers through his hair. 

"What the hell happened?" Zop asked. 

"We were outside and Calum collapsed because he hasn't eaten in three days." Ashton said. 

"Shit did he hit his head?" 

"Probably." Luke said as he grabbed a cup and put water in it waiting for Calum to wake up. "He's not bleeding so I'm going to guess he at least has a concussion." 

Ashton moved to the back of the bus where there was less commotion to make a video, updating the fans on what was happening.  
"Okay well we need to wait for him to wake up and then go from there." 

"You don't have to wait much longer. What the hell happened?" 

"Eat." Luke said. 

"No." 

"Calum unless you want to collapse again in front of not just a hundred fans but 20 thousand tonight on stage then go ahead and don't eat but that could possibly be the stupidest choice you've made since I've met you." Michael said, agreeing with Luke. 

"I will shove food down your throat if you don't eat, Calum." Luke said as Ashton walked back into the main part of the bus. 

"Fine." Calum said and Luke got something for Calum to eat a long with water and a pain killer for the headache he's probably having. 

After he ate what Luke gave him and took his pill, he stole a piece of Michaels pizza and went back outside to finish what he started. 

"Calum are you okay?!" One of the fans yelled and Calum smiled slightly at them before nodding as he continued eating his pizza and signing things. 

"Hi Calum!" Calum looked up, recognizing the face as a girl he met at derpcon that was in a group he hung out with for a little bit. 

"Hi, Lexi!" Calum said and hugged her. 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Better now that I have food in my system." 

"Not what I was talking about but its good that you're feeling better." 

"Still sad. But you guys make it all better."

They took a picture then Calum moved on to the next fan. He was out there for hours meeting people and the boys would go out there every once in a while to check on cal and meet a couple people as well. 

Sadly, Calum had to cut everything short when he started getting dizzy. He quickly went back to the bus, just in time to see Ashton coming out to check on him.  
"Whoa Cal, whats wrong?" 

"Im dizzy." Calum complained as he got passed Ashton and into the bus, laying down on the couch.

"Mike! Your boy is dizzy." It took about two seconds for Michael to be out of the back room and right by Calum. 

"Im fine. I just need to lay down." Calum said and Michael picked him up, taking him to his bunk. 

"Rest babe." Calum nodded and pulled Michael down to kiss him before letting him go and turning around to go to sleep. 

"I love you Mike." Calum said as he closed his eyes. 

"I love you, Cal." 

Michael walked back to the main part of the bus, sitting down on the couch and leaned on his elbows as he put his face in his hands. Ash sat next to him and rubbed his back which almost instantly made Michael relax. 

"What's up, Mike?"

"I'm trying to be strong for him but it's so hard. He needs the support but sometimes I just breakdown. We all know how much I think onstage, it hasn't happened yet but what if I breakdown in the middle of the show because I can't stop fucking thinking?" 

"Our fans will overwhelm you with the support you need. You know they will." 

~~~~~  
The boys were onstage in the middle of a show where they had just gotten done with Jet Black Heart. Now it was time for Broken Home and Luke caught the cracks in Michael's voice in Jet Black Heart. He knew he was going to cry. 

After they had introduced it and started playing, Luke sang his part, looking over at Calum then at Michael as Calum started singing the chorus. He got into the second half of his solo and that's when everything went to shit. 

"Wrote it down on the walls, he was screaming it out made it clear, he's still here, are you listening now? Just a ghost in the halls feeling empty, they're vacant now all the battles, all the wars, all the times that you've fought he's the scar, he's the bruises, he's the pain that you brought there was life, there was love like a light and it's fading out" Calum noticed his voice crack when he said "he's the scar" but continued anyway until the last word before stepping back from his mic and taking a deep breath, forcing himself not to cry before stepping back up to his microphone. After the song, Calum held onto his microphone before he leaned forward and spoke into it. "I love you, Carson Dallas Clifford." Calum said softly but loud enough for them all to hear before looking up to the sky and the chills Calum got when the entire arena awe'd were the most intense chills he's ever gotten. He kind of zoned out until he felt a pair of arms spin him around and then he was quickly pulled into a hug by arms that felt all too familiar by now. He quickly hugged his husband back as the crowd went insane while the couple onstage was crying into each others shoulders. Ashton got off the platform his drums where on and started walking over to the couple as did Luke. They all formed a group hug on Calum's side of the stage and stood like that until people in their ears were yelling at them to continue. But even then, the boys all took out their ear plugs and let them hang around their neck. 

"Are you guys good?" Luke asked and Calum wiped the rest of his tears with his fingers before nodding and Michael doing the same but with the sleeve of his flannel.  


"Okay. Let finish this show."


End file.
